MILLENNIAL DATING TIPS

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I guess you can say that I’m a little “out of the ordinary” when it comes to dating. I’m a millennial. I’m always on social media. BUT - I’ve had a boyfriend for 4.5 years. A healthy relationship. A relationship with ups and downs. A relationship with good communication. One where we enjoy talking on the phone. You know, rare these days. 

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My friends on the other hand… well, they are in the dating game like a majority of millennials.

K, so my blog is all about self-care, but self-care and dating go hand in hand. I was going to write this to my friends because I know they will be all over it, but then I thought… I’m sure there are others out there who would find this just as valuable. 

So, here we go.

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These are my thoughts on dating for millennials and tips to find your one true love. Sorry if that sounds cheesy, but I’m a hopeless romantic, what can I say?

I’m going to break this down into TWO easy parts. My goal is to address the issue and give you tips ( a solution ) on how to resolve it so that you can feel free of that agony.

  1. The Stalking

  2. Self Doubt

If you are a millennial, you probably know exactly what I am talking about before I even begin, ok?

But, before we dive in, I want to mention one thing. Social media. Social media has totally damaged our communication skills and ability to have a normal conversation. I hope that after you read my thoughts and tips, you feel inspired to take a different route ( if you happen to be struggling in the dating game ). 

NUMBER ONE

The Stalking

Guys, let’s be real. We are so absorbed by our phones that we become paranoid. The second we meet a guy ( or girl ), we jump to social media. See who they are following. See the photos they have recently liked. See how often they are online. See if they have read the DM’s. You know the deal. You sometimes even create stories or scenarios that may or may not exist. 

Then, you begin talking. I’m sorry ( *cough* ) texting. Then, the guy ( or girl ) doesn’t reply. Or they become flakey. It’s a game. So, then back to social media you go. 

It’s a vicious and very toxic cycle. 

NUMBER TWO 

Self Doubt

When someone ignores you, plays games with you AND you have access to see what they are doing online, you are obviously going to doubt yourself the second something goes wrong, right? That’s a MAJOR problem. 

  • “Did I do something wrong?”

  • “Why is he ( or she ) ignoring me?” 

  • “I thought we had a great time.”

  • “Is he ( she ) seeing someone else?”

  • “Why can’t a guy ( or girl ) ever commit.”

  • “What’s wrong with me?”

    You begin doubting YOURSELF in the situation. You start comparing yourself. And then…

I notice so many people making FUCKING EXCUSES for these guys ( or girls ).

Like, “oh, he has a job and doesn’t want to focus on a relationship which is why he can’t text me back.”

MISTAKE NUMBER ONE

No. No. No.

Like stop yourself right there.

Whether it is meant to be or not, that guy ( or girl ) can have the decency to text you back, let you know they are busy or worst case scenario, that they aren’t interested. 

The fact that so many millennials make excuses for the other person and then doubt what is wrong with themselves is not healthy. It’s ok to get sad. It’s ok to feel those feelings. It’s ok not to be ok sometimes. This is part of it.

Oh, and make sure you are talking to the RIGHT friends because as much as our friends care about us, they can also make the stories we are creating much worse.

Just being super real.

LET’S TALK SOLUTIONS

What I tell my best friends when they come to me with these situations is what my mom told me. 

“When you meet the right person you’ll never have to wonder.” 

The truth is that when someone doesn’t text you back, or when someone is being a jerk, or when someone is playing games, they simply are NOT the one.

  1. Who cares if they are busy?

  2. Who cares if they are out with friends?

They still owe you RESPECT. 

No excuses. I always tell my friends that this is what dating is. Obviously, you know? If it doesn’t work out with someone, that just means that they aren’t the one. I believe that we are meant to be with one person. You date to find that one person. Make sense?

You don’t date to marry every person that you date. Shits going to go wrong, k?

That’s because they aren’t your person… 

I know it sounds obvious and it IS NOT easier said than done because I HAVE been there. 

Another problem? Millennials are SO afraid of getting hurt that they straight up deny what they actually want.

Self doubt at its finest. 

Here is what I did though to get what I wanted.

I started putting myself first. I was so wrapped up in social media. In what the guy was doing. The fact that he wasn’t texting me back. The whole story. I was ALLOWING myself to suffer emotionally. And while it might hurt, it doesn't do you any good. 

What I wanted was to find someone to spend my life with. How the hell would I find that person if I wasn't taking care of me? 

It’s enough talking. It’s time to start doing.

  • Sign up for those classes. 

  • Start that business.

  • Go out with those friends.

  • Buy yourself that dress. 

  • Go on a lot of dates with the INTENTION of getting to know people.

  • Don’t put your eggs in one basket. 

  • Invest in YOU time.

    • Have you checked out any of my spa reviews? Wellness treatments are everything.

  • Schedule a date night with yourself

  • Eat healthy.

  • Go on that run.

  • Do you. 

  • Do what makes you happy. 

When you do these things, you end up on YOUR path. When you are on YOUR path, you will find the right person. You put yourself in a different situation. A positive situation that attracts the RIGHT people. 

Like think about it. How do you expect to attract the person of your dreams if you are in a negative state? Obsessing over a situation that may or may not be meant to be. 

It’s depressing really, isn’t it? 

I noticed that once I started doing me, everything fell into place. Not over night, but over time. I would say over the course of a year. My life kind of fell into place. I started finding more of what I wanted. As it started happening, it became so obvious. 

Have patience. Invest in you. Many of us do not know patience because we expect instant gratification thanks to social media. Not a good thing. 

6 DATING TIPS FOR MILLENNIALS 

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  1. Figure out what it is you want & don’t make excuses for anyone not giving that to you.

  2. Do not go back to what makes you unhappy. Take note of what you DO NOT want & move forward.

  3. Invest in you & make sure that your happiness is the number one priority.

  4. Get off of social media. If you feel the need to stalk, then you obviously don’t trust the person. It’s ok to check them out, but don’t obsess. That’s a red flag.

  5. Know your worth & never let anyone shift that in your mind. If they do, they aren’t the one. 

  6. Communication is key. If they can’t communicate now, you will suffer later on & no one wants that.

MY FINAL THOUGHTS

  • Dating should be fun.

  • Dating isn’t easy.

  • Dating involves being vulnerable and putting yourself out there.

Sometimes in uncomfortable situations. Sometimes you’ll make a friend. Sometimes you will be the one to break a heart. 

More importantly, there will be that one time where you just click. You connect. You find someone who values you. You cares about you. Who wants to call you. Who is what you want. 

You just can’t give up and assume that all guys ( or girls ) are bad after one bad experience. Never let your past determine your future. That’s dangerous. 

If we all work on ourselves, then little by little, we can change society and create a better future for our children. 

What do you think about this topic? 

Share your dating stories with me by sending me an email! I’ll link it below. 

sydneynanberg@gmail.com ( scroll down to the bottom )

XO,

Sydney 

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Sydney Nanberg