WHY YOU AREN’T HAPPY

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I’m sitting in Chicago right now visiting family and I’m thinking about the word happiness. I was thinking about it because I was trying to figure out why everyone is so unhappy today, you know?

It’s almost as if we are literally NEVER satisfied.

…and not just that everyone is so unhappy or dissatisfied, but also the pressure.

I recently wrote a post on the pressure of social media and it sparked something in my mind.

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We live in this world where our lives are consumed by false content on social media. People can put out whatever they want and we tend to believe it, you know?

When I started my blog, I didn’t want to be just another “self help” blog, k? It’s so fucking generic! I didn’t want to post endless quotes and show all happy photos.

I mean… I obviously want to be happy and want everyone who reads my content to be happy, but that’s the thing…

The word CONTENT.

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I wanted my content to be REAL.

Address real life issues.

I wanted to share my own personal stories, struggles I faced, how I pushed through and any tips that I learned and am continuing to learn along the way.

In my opinion, there are so many blogs out there promoting happiness. Then you look at their Instagram and it is filled with quotes and positivity.

You’re probably like… “Sydney WTF is wrong with you.”

But guess what, I LOVE those blogs. I just don’t find them realistic 100% of the time.

I follow a lot of those blogs.

But one thing that they are missing is REALITY.

In a world where reality lives on the internet, reality becomes warped, you know?

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Have you ever looked at someone’s profile on social media and been like, “this person has the perfect life.” Or, “what is wrong with my life?”

Again, people share what they want and we end up judging ourselves. Comparing ourselves. This lowers our self-esteem. Self-confidence. It’s ruining our communication skills and instilling FEAR into our minds.

I run a marketing agency, I have a self care blog, a podcast, a boyfriend, a big family and I’m always so busy. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by so much love and amazing opportunities that I’ve created.

But, why do I have days where I want to lay in bed and cry?

  1. And why do I have a few of those days per month?

  2. And why do I then believe that something is wrong with me?

  3. And then why do I believe that I’m depressed?

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Because our generation is being “trained” in a way to believe that if we aren’t happy every single day that something is wrong.


We are human.


We can’t be happy every single day, ok?

Life is like a roller coaster and I know you’ve heard that before.

It has ups and it has downs.

That is so beyond normal.

So, on the days when we are down, that doesn’t mean that we are miserable. That doesn’t mean that something is wrong. We are so used to instant gratification and having things NOW because of social media.

It is important to keep the big picture in mind of what you want in life, understand patience and be mindful that some days will just not go our way.

Things aren’t as simple as they seem on Instagram.

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Now, things happen in life such as death or other challenging situations. I do believe and KNOW that there are things in life that can cause real depression.

  • I’ve struggled with depression.

  • I’ve struggled with anxiety.

I still struggle with anxiety. Severe.

I’ve also struggled with labels.

If you are a millennial, then you know that we are terrified of “labels.”

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WE ARE LIVING IN A MESS & HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPINESS EVEN IS!

While mental illness is entirely real, I believe that it can often be misdiagnosed. Sometimes it isn’t. You get what I’m saying.

But, when I have these days where I just feel like shit, I think there is something mentally wrong.

That is why the idea of happiness is fucked up today!

( Please don’t be offended by my language. I want you to feel like you are actually speaking to me through my writing, k? )

We don’t have to be happy every day of our lives. In fact, who is happy every single day?

The problem is that we don’t allow ourselves to sit and FEEL our feelings.

When I have a bad day, I’ve learned to sit with those emotions. Literally give myself a set period of time to FEEL. To stop what I am doing and FEEL.

I end up being able to move forward, opposed to wasting time ruminating and wondering WTF is wrong with me.

Nothing. I’m having a bad day and it’s ok.

Taking this time to focus on ourselves and be mindful of our mental health, can help SHIFT our perception of what we see on social media!

This leads to a happier version of YOU!

…because we are putting ourselves first, and not allowing what we see on the internet to dictate our happiness!

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I want to see a change in our society. I want people to understand that not everyday is sunshine and rainbows.

I want there to be more “realness” on social media.

Yes, it’s ok to show the good times. You should! But, can we slip in a little bit more of reality?

It’s causing problems, k?

Whether or not a change is made online, I want to be able to provide a little reality check. To help people understand patience. To help people understand being mindful. To help people understand that instant gratification isn’t a thing.

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I was talking with my grandparents about my business ( which I do quite often ) the other week. My grandparents started a remodeling business years ago that my dad owns today.

I asked, “how did you make it a success?”

Their answer is, “we just did and we did what we had to do.”

They weren’t worried about the amount of time.

They weren’t worried that everything would come crashing down if they did one thing wrong.

They said that they started the business because there was no other option. This is what they were doing.

That’s what our generation has got wrong.

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We assume that if we want something and then after a short amount of time it doesn't work out, it’s a failure. That is why we are all so unhappy!

Between what we consistently see on social media, the pressure and instant gratification - we are a mess!

The truth is that we lack the ability to commit. We are afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Social media has caused us to BELIEVE in a false reality. That these things can happen overnight.

While it might for some people, it doesn’t for most, and that’s NORMAL.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO TAKEAWAY FROM THIS POST

  1. Instant gratification doesn’t exist

  2. Not everything on social media is reality

  3. Patience is a quality we all need to learn

  4. Make commitments and follow through. That is where true happiness stems from.

  5. Believing in and trust yourself.

  6. Pushing through “growth periods.” ( AKA the tough times )

When I tell my grandparents that I’m having a bad day, they tell me that it’s part of the process. We ALL know that bad days are part of the process and part of life.

But, do we?

Do we actually internalize that concept?

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Or do we hear it and move on?

I believe that if we take a step back, allow ourselves to FEEL and be mindful, work on our perspective, stay committed to our goals and have patience, we will become fulfilled.

Goodbye instant gratification. Goodbye comparing ourselves. Hello REAL LIFE HAPPINESS.

I can’t force everyone to be real and make a change on social media, you know? But, I can make the change and provide little reminders.

If you are struggling with where you are in life, you aren’t alone, but you can get through it.

I hope you found my all over the place story on happiness valuable. Next time you’re having a bad day, feel the emotion, realize it’s not the end of the world and consider the big picture.


Makes a hell of a difference.

XO,

Sydney

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