We all get stressed. It’s part of life. Some of us worse than others, but at the end of the day, stress is stress and it sucks. Emotions come and go.

I’ve talked about how exercise and meditation can help with stress, but what I haven’t discussed yet…

…is questioning your own beliefs.


When we are stressed we get so caught up in the negative thoughts, you know? I know I do. What you need to do is understand how to feel those thoughts and question them.

They seriously aren’t always accurate.

But, I want you to ask yourself the good questions. Not the “why is this happening to me” type of drowning in your sorrows type of questions. I’m not about that.

We need to get deep into the root of this, and the goal is to totally flip your mindset on the situation.

If you know me, you know that mindset is EVERYTHING. Like, literally everything. If you can’t control your mind, then your life is going to fall apart if I’m bein’ real.

The next time you are in a stressful situation or just feeling stressed, ask yourself these questions that I’m going to share with you.


This is exactly what I do and you know I do it with a twist.


pre-asking myself questions

  • When I’m very stressed…

  • I dim all of the lights in my home

  • I light some candles

  • I put on my aromatherapy diffuser with some eucalyptus oil

  • I have my himalayan salt lamp on

  • I get in my favorite cozy pajamas

  • I grab a journal

NOW, if you are stressed during the day, you can just ask yourself the questions. If you want to take it up a notch and really set the mood, do it when you get home or even before you leave the house ;)

So, I’m sitting in bed in my favorite pajamas, all cozy, with my scents and lighting. First of all, that is a MAJOR de-stresser. Then, I write out each of these questions and answer them!

One by one.

By the end of the exercise I can tell you that I literally feel refreshed and like a new person. I questioned my own beliefs and it allowed my to take that step back and put things in perspective.


Ok, enough of me blabbering.

When you get stressed, ask yourself the following questions:

The first thing that you need to do is understand where your stress is coming from before you can question yourself.

  1. Is the stress coming from an external source or internally?

  2. Is there a specific situation bringing out the stress? If so, why?

  3. What in your daily schedule is increasing your stress levels?

  4. Are people involved? If so, is it totally out of your control to make a change?

I know that there are a lot of questions that you can ask yourself to understand underlying stress, but to me, these are the most helpful.

Once you have an idea of where this stress is coming from, it’s time to find some relief.

I did a post on how to demolish stress, but this post is more about how to feel relief in the heat of the moment so that you can make better decisions and feel happier.

  • Is stressing over this situation making it better?

  • How is this stress physically and mentally affecting me?

  • What is within my control and what is out of my control?

  • What is the best, the worst and the most realistic scenario that is likely to play out?

  • How have I coped with this in the past?

  • What would make me feel better in this moment?

  • Am I worrying just to worry?

  • Is this STILL going to affect me 5 years from now?

  • What is the exact story that I am creating in my head?

  • What can I do about it at this exact moment?

  • What am I actually afraid of?

I’ve had days where I am out running from meeting to meeting and all of a sudden I get overwhelmed with stress. It’s like a huge uncontrollable wave. If I am driving, I will pull over. I will pull out the notes app in my phone and I will answer these questions.

It honestly isn’t enough for me just to answer these questions in my head. When I write it out, I feel relief. I feel clarity. It’s just different.


A GOOD TIP would be to actually keep these questions ready to go in the notes app in your phone.

I also have a journal for stress and these questions are on the first page! I know that when I open this journal I have the questions there and all I need to do is answer them.

I hope that you found these tips valuable and if you have any other tips for stress and reducing negative self-talk, send me a message!

Now, I am off to cook a healthy dinner and grab a glass of wine!



…and come join my FREE secret Facebook community :)


Sydney Nanberg