5 BENEFITS OF VULNERABILITY

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE VULNERABLE

THE 2019 DEFINITION

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I used to think that everyone was trying to hold back out of fear of judgement or rejection. Today, I think differently. While I still think there are a majority of people out there who fear vulnerability, something else was brought to my attention that I also want to address.

Because of social media, I almost think that everyone is trying to be vulnerable to connect with an audience.

But, life is more than being vulnerable on social media.

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It’s easier to be vulnerable on social media because you lack that actual human connection. Yes, you can argue that social media is real human interaction, but at the same time, it’s much easier to put something in writing than speak your truth in real life situations, ok?

Because we live in a generation that DOES, in fact, actually fear vulnerability in real life situations such as relationships, I thought I’d start by defining vulnerability.

vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty

noun

  • the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BECOME VULNERABLE

WHAT WE FEAR vs. REALITY

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As I mentioned, when you become vulnerable, you are opening yourself up to POTENTIALLY facing negative emotions. Those are the emotions that we try to avoid for whatever reason when we close ourselves off.

Opening yourself up to vulnerability CAN result in feeling let down, rejected, sad or angry.

  1. You might open yourself up to someone and not get the answer you wanted to hear.

  2. You might speak up to your boss about that raise, risking a let down and end up getting let down.

  3. You might confront someone you have feelings for and they might not feel the same way.

But, why is it that we choose to focus on the negatives?

Obviously because that is the FEAR. That is the reason that we aren’t ALLOWING ourselves to become vulnerable.

Vulnerability forces us to possibly being let down.

Can I just be honest for a quick second?

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The reality is that NOT being vulnerable hides the truth. It actually is handing us more pain on a silver platter. So, when you tell yourself that NOT opening up will avoid being let down, it won’t.

That’s the reality.

HOW TO BEGIN OPENING UP

LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW PRACTICAL STEPS

Vulnerability is actually the key to happiness.

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When you allow yourself to be vulnerable in life, you begin to feel more fulfilled.

STEP NUMBER ONE

ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE WORTHY

If something is meant to be, then it will be. BUT - you will never know unless you put yourself out there. In order to become ok with vulnerability, we need to understand that we are worthy of what we want in life. You’re worthy to get a positive response. You won’t go far unless you believe that you are worthy of allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

STEP NUMBER TWO

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION

Stop yourself as you begin to resist. When you feel vulnerability coming your way, stop fighting it. Allow yourself to become vulnerable in the situation because you ARE worthy. Give yourself permission to experience the response you may receive whether it is good or bad, ok? We cannot be afraid to FEEL if we truly want to live a fulfilling life. So, give yourself that permission to put yourself out there.

STEP NUMBER THREE

TRUST YOURSELF

What’s the worst that happens if something doesn’t work out how you’d like? You might feel bad, but you also might feel good knowing that you have an answer. Have you ever considered that you may also receive the response you want? Trust yourself that you can handle whatever answer it is that comes your way.

Getting rejected or facing an indifference doesn’t feel good, right? But, know that you can handle it. Trust yourself that you’ll be able to do something with that hurt if that is what is causing the fear behind your lack of vulnerability. This is one of the best ways to free yourself of that fear. By knowing you can handle whatever the outcome is!

STEP NUMBER FOUR

REALIZE THAT NOT BEING VULNERABLE CAUSES MORE HURT

When we put up protective barriers because we are afraid of being vulnerable, we are at the mercy of other people and situations. We become the victim and are essentially letting others control how we feel, you know? That doesn’t lead to a happy life. When you don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable, you don’t believe that you are worthy of love or acceptance. That is what gives people the power to hurt you, right?

Basically by NOT being vulnerable, you’re ensuring that you stay disappointed.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable protects you. Whether you choose to be vulnerable or not, you are still open to hurt. But, if you choose to be vulnerable, you already know your worth, know that you can work through it and can move on!

STEP NUMBER FIVE

START WITH SMALL RISKS

It’s all about making small changes one step at a time. If you aren’t used to being vulnerable in life, relationships or any situation, then just going for it might be a challenge, k? Try taking small risks. Ask a co-worker for help or sign up for a new class at the gym. Do small things that make YOU feel vulnerable until you begin to build up that confidence to believe within yourself that you ARE worthy. Until you realize that you CAN handle the outcome.

THE TAKEAWAY

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Playing it safe will never leave you fulfilled. It will leave you with questions.

XO,

Sydney <3

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Sydney NanbergComment